Mary Poppins Isn't Real

Trust me, I look up at the sky every day to see if she's going to pick my house next.  She doesn't.  For my kids sake I wish I could be her.  In my head I'm all about flying around with an umbrella and breaking into song and I would totally have a British accent and everything would be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  But in reality, I'm probably more of the Freddy Krueger type mom than Mary Poppins.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was on bed rest for seven months.  It gave me a lot of time to think about the kind of mom I wanted to be.  My child was going to have the most magical childhood ever created outside of a Disney movie.  We were going to spend our days baking cookies and drawing life-sized chalk people on the driveway.  We've done that, many times, but I'll be honest, in most of those "magical" moments I've had a completely different conversation going on in my head.  In my head I'm usually getting upset because there is flour all over the counter, or the dough is sticky and our hands are a mess or the chalk is all over her pretty little outfit and now that's more clothes I'm going to have to wash.  Then I feel guilty and I promise myself that next time there will be more Mary and less Freddy.

Pinterest don't help either.  Do a search of "crafts for kids".  You will still be scrolling through the pictures three days later. So many magical things to create using Play-Doh or craft paper or God forbid, glitter.  You really want to see the Freddy come out in me, open a bottle of glitter.

As summer vacation is coming to an end I look back on these 77 days, 1 hour and 54 minutes and while we didn't make Oragami animals, or hand made puffy paint, or DIY balloon bowls, or popsicle stick superheros...see what I mean, that's just the first four posts...we didn't kill each other and you know what, I'm going to chalk that up as a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious summer break.  Take that Mary Poppins!  

The Lists of My Lists Have Lists

I love lists.  To some they might seem restricting or binding. To me they are liberating. Once I've written something down on a piece of paper I no longer feel responsible for having to remember it. For all you youngsters out there who have embraced everything "techy", you are probably still trying to decipher that last sentence because it contained the words "written" and "paper".  Google it.

Don't get me wrong, technology is wonderful and I would probably not buy as many random items on my daily Target outings if I put more lists on my phone and less lists on pieces of paper in notebooks that I leave by the front door.  I also wouldn't have to make as many trips to Target but then the employees would start to worry if they hadn't seen me in a few days and then they might even feel the need to call the police and write a missing persons report and then my picture would be printed on milk cartons and when I eventually returned to Target we would all feel awkward.

For me there is just no sense of satisfaction in deleting an entry on my phone, but I become practically giddy when I can take my blue pen (I only use blue pens, but that's a post for another day) and strike through an item on one of my lists.  I liken it to what Napoleon must have felt like at the Battle of Austerlitz.  A little dramatic?  Perhaps.  But it was a big win for him so I think he was entitled to feel a little giddy.

I have a Monthly Menu list, I have a Weekly Grocery List, I have a Daily Household Chore List, I now have a Daily Work List, I have a New Team Member List, I have an Oils to Order This Month List, I have a Books I Want to Read List.  I know there are more lists but I can't find my Lists of Lists List.

I like to think that by having all these lists I'm working smarter not harder but I'm not so sure.  I do know that I really am much less productive when I don't have a list to refer to. It's like the list and I are at war and to be victorious I must cross off as many items as I can that day.  But if I don't get to all the items, it's o.k. because tomorrow I will just make another list of Items I Didn't Get to Yesterday.

Pajamas and Exclamations Points

The other day I was chatting back and forth with a friend of mine on Facebook and I realized two things about myself...I REALLY like pajamas and I use way too many exclamation points in my posts!!!  See, I can't help myself.  I don't even know when or how this happened because I'm pretty sure that I used to be one of those people who would get annoyed with other people who could only end a sentence with an exclamation point. 

Grammar.yourdictionary.com says that "Although exclamation marks were introduced into the English language in the 15th century, exclamation marks did not even exist as a separate key on standard typewriters until the 1970's". WHAT?!  People have only been able to indicate a heightened level of excitement for 45 years?!  The site goes on to say "Exclamation points were originally called the "note of admiration".  They are still, to this day, used to express excitement.  They are also used to express surprise, astonishment, or any other such strong emotion. Any exclamatory sentence can be properly followed by an exclamation mark, to add additional emphasis".   

If I use these principles to evaluate my own writing I am always surprised or astonished. Apparently I feel I need to add additional emphasis to everything I post.  I guess I'm today's version of the town crier.  If you don't know what this is, may I suggest you watch any episode of the series Rome, on Netflix.  The town crier in that show is AWESOME!  And yes, that sentence was FILLED with strong emotion. 

I'm posing a challenge to myself this week...I'm going to get out of my pajamas more and I'm going to try to post for an entire week without using any exclamation points.  And while I am very excited about this, I can no longer express that emotion.